My church attendance
began at a young age in the Pioneer Presbyterian Church in Chatfield,
Minnesota. The children attending Sunday
School would receive animated handouts pertaining to Bible stories and such. I do recall receiving a handout once when I
was about 8 years old that told of a modern day miracle—the Miracle of the
Seagulls which occurred in Salt Lake City, Utah to the people of the Mormon
faith under the leadership of Brigham Young.
I enjoyed reading the story, but never had reason to think much more
about it. I sang in the Youth Choir and
one of my favorite songs was “Tell Me the Stories of Jesus”. My mother encouraged me to wait until I was
12 years old before getting baptized, which I did, so that I would better
understand it.
Also, during my
childhood, a close friend of my mother's whose name was Sula Engle, was
baptized into The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. My mother commented how impressed she was
that her friend gave up many of her worldly habits to join this faith and we
were happy for her that she found a faith that she was so excited about.
My father died in his
sleep at the age of 83 when I was 9 years old.
I was very much afraid of death at that time and did not attend his
funeral. My younger sister and I stayed
with our next door neighbor, Venetta Every, during his funeral services. My mother explained that he was now in “Paradise.”
When I was 13 years old,
our family moved from Chatfield to Rochester.
Since we had no car or any means of transportation in our family, we
chose to attend a nearby church that was similar to our Presbyterian faith,
called the Evangelical United Bretheren Church.
I attended all of the youth activites and sang in the church choir. My mother's health did not permit her to
attend church, but she always encouraged her family's attendance.
When I was 17 years old,
I attended a Youth Summer Camp on a lake in MN. On the last night of our camp
experience, everyone attended an evening church service. At the end of the service, we sang a hymn that ended with the phrase,
“Dear Lamb of God, I come, I come.”
While singing all of the verses, people, especially the youth, were
invited to come down the aisle to the railing at the front of the chapel and
bow down to offer your life to Jesus. I
felt impressed to do this and I did. At
the end of the service, the youth leaders invited me to a room behind the
chapel where I could sign my name in a book as a commitment to obey the
teachings of Jesus, which I did sign.
After that summer, I
began attending the local community college.
Once in college, I began to succumb to many temptations that I had never
been tempted with before—such as smoking and alcohol. I very much wanted to “fit in” with my
friends even though I often thought of that commitment I made to Jesus at the
camp. I would always justify my actions
with the teachings that we are saved by grace and most certainly could repent
on our death bed.
When I was 20 years old,
my mother was invited to spend the winter in California with my older brother,
Bob and his wife Gloria. Since several
of my friends had married and I was still single, and had saved my money from
working as a waitress in the Kahler Hotel, I decided to fly to California to
visit them also, as well as my sister, Betty, who lived there. During her stay
in California, my mother began to experience bowel problems and was anxious to
go back home to MN when Spring arrived to see her regular doctor. She had an exploratory surgery on Memorial
Day weekend and was found to be full of cancer.
She returned home and was treated with medication.
This was a very
difficult time in my life!! I could not
fathom living my life without my mother in it.
Not knowing the plan of salvation, I turned to spending a lot of my time
with my friends while I was home on leave of absence from my job at Hunt Foods,
Inc. in Fullerton, CA. Being with my
friends was a means of coping even though I really wanted to spend time with my
mother. I just couldn't cope with the
thought of her dying.
I finally had to return
to my job in California, so bid my mother goodbye and told her I would come
home again in the fall to see her. I
rode on a bus for this return trip.
While the bus was stopped in Salt Lake City, Utah, a person tried to
encourage me to get off the bus and go about 3 blocks to see a beautiful
temple. Not knowing anyone in the West,
and not wanting to get lost, I decided to simply go into the Bus Depot and pick
up a postcard of the Temple as well as one of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir which
I was somewhat familiar with. Then I
went on to California to return to my job in the Corporate Division where I was
a steno-secretary in the President's office.
My close friend from
back in Minnesota, Marlene McCoy I became roommates and agreed it would be fun
to move to the beach. I quit my job at
Hunt Foods, Inc. and applied at an aerospace company in Redondo Beach, called
TRW Systems, which was near where we resided in Manhattan Beach. I was hired by to work for 3 engineers—namely,
Ara Farajian, Rod Cooper and Bill Garrett--in early May 1967.
The office celebrated my
22nd birthday and upon closing, Bill asked if he could buy me a
birthday drink. I declined, as I already
had a date, but I did ask him if I could take a rain check. He agreed.
A week later, he asked if he could take me up on that rain check. I told him I again had a date, but I would
break it. He took me to Marina Del Rey
to a beautiful restaurant called Charlie Brown's. Being a small town girl, I thought that was a
superb way to enjoy a birthday!
As I began to know Bill
better, I learned he and his wife, Wanda, were separating and she was returning
to Texas with their 3 children—Mike, Patti and Scott. Bill was so proud of his children and
introduced me to them before they left.
Bill asked me to marry him in April
1968. I agreed, and we became engaged at Charlie Brown's restaurant over
champagne sherbert. We married 2 months
later on June 22, 1968 (the one-year anniversary of that original Charlie
Brown's dinner to celebrate my 22nd birthday). Since we didn't belong to any church, we
looked up a wedding chapel in the yellow pages, went to 3 appointments to plan
the details, and were married in the Ferndale Chapel in Santa Ana, California.
Soon after we were
married, Bill took me to Redlands, CA to meet some close friends of his who
just moved down from Utah. He worked
with Bob Turner at Hill Air Force Base in Clearfield, UT. Bob was now transferred to Norton Air Force
Base in San Bernardino, CA. He and his
wife, Jeannine and their 4 children—Marci, Jodie, Daniel and Marty—were
residing in a small trailer on their property while their home was being remodeled. Bill informed me they were Mormons, although
not active ones. Realizing that not all
Catholics or Protestants are active in their faiths, I really didn't think
anything about that fact. I did notice,
however, as I got to know them better, that they always had a prayer
before every meal and closed it “in the name of Jesus Christ.” I didn't know anything about their faith, but
felt they must be Christian. We also
noticed that they were very family centered.
They provided so many family activities on their property!
They had a huge swimming pool, a pool table, a ping- pong table, croquet, badminton, a swing set for little ones, a garden,
board games, cards, you name it. As our
friendships developed over the next 6 years, they would always invite us to
their home for holidays as well as throughout the year—especially because they
learned that Bill and I were far removed from our families in Minnesota and
Texas.
When the aerospace
industry suffered huge layoffs in 1970, Bill was one of the many to be laid
off. While our neighbors and other
friends would avoid the subject, Bob would openly ask Bill, “How's the job
hunting going—any offers yet? What do
you need help with?” We always felt like
they treated us like family—in every respect!
During our association
with the Turner Family, Bill and I were members of the Riviera United Methodist
Church located in Redondo Beach, California.
We simply visited that church once, signed a card as visitors, and the
minister, Rev. Bob Fehlman, came to our home and invited us to attend a class
to become new members. Bill openly told
him that he drank and smoked, not sure that he would be accepted. Rev. Fehlman said he felt a more important
factor to consider was how he treated his wife.
Bill turned to me and stated, “I don't think she has any complaints”,
which indeed I did not. Bill was very
impressed with Rev. Fehlman and we eventually did join his congregation and
were active members for the next 7 years. Whenever I would mention
anything about our church, both Bob and Jeannine were always so gracious and
would listen. Yet, I somehow knew they
would never leave their Mormon faith even though they were not active in
it. They always defended it no matter
what.
Our son, Reid Ellison,
was born in June 1970, naturally a dream come true, and we were ecstatic! I was a smoker, but had a desire to quit, not
wanting to be a smoking mother. It took
me awhile to quit, but finally succeeded after making a New Year's resolution
in 1971 when Reid was 6 months old. When
Reid turned 1 year old and started walking, we decided to sell our home to
ensure we would not have a drowning accident with our toddler. We then moved to an apartment in Redondo
Beach not too far from the beach.
While living in the
apartment, Bill began to stay late at work nearly every night. Even though I would prepare meals for us, it
seemed he would just never show up.
Scott was living with us at that time and after awhile, I became
discouraged and prepared fewer meals. We
often simply went to Straw Hat Pizza, a favorite for teenagers and toddlers.
I also noticed that Bill
was acting very depressed about many things.
When undressing after coming home so late at night, he would
occasionally say, “I believe I have a drinking problem.” I suggested Alcoholics Anonymous to which he
quickly said, “Oh, I'm not a skid row bum.”
I agreed since he was never one to drink around our home unless we had
guests over for a social occasion.
When I noticed it was
getting difficult to pay our bills, I decided to start a part time job selling
Tupperware. It seemed perfect because I
could schedule parties in the evening and thinking Bill could be home with our
young boys, Reid, and our newest baby, Ryan Sterling, born in March 1973. But the pressures began to build as sometimes
Bill would not show up until it was time for the scheduled party to begin—and I
was left to apologize to the hostess for being late. Bill finally insisted I did not need to work
so I quit.
During the break between
Christmas and New Year's, I asked Bill if he really needed to work late every
night of the work week. (I was obviously
getting very lonely always spending my evenings alone.) He said no, that it wasn't necessary to work
late every night. So we agreed that he
would come home for dinner on Mondays and Fridays and work late on
Tue-Wed-Thurs nights. I was fine with
that as long as I knew when to plan on him for dinner—my greatest
frustration! In January 1974, I was so
excited to have my husband come home on that first Monday night! I was so excited to set the table and have
dinner all ready to serve, but sadly, he never showed up. This continued for about the next 3 weeks
which was a major disappointment for me and Bill was getting more and more
depressed which greatly concerned me, fearing he was even becoming
suicidal. Not knowing where to turn or
what to do in my desperation to seek some help, I bowed down on my knees at
bedside one evening and vocally poured my heart out to God in behalf of my
husband, begging him to please help him.
(Because Bill would come home late at night and had been drinking, I
feared he would be killed in an accident or kill someone else and oftened
called local hospitals to rule that fear out.)
Interestingly, that very night, Bill came home and brushed me aside when
I opened the locked door, saying he had to get to the phone before he lost his
courage. He looked up AA in the phone
book and made the call for help. I was
in tears as I KNEW God had heard and was answering my humble but desperate plea
for help in that earlier prayer.
The next night, Bill
came home for dinner and went to an AA meeting, which he did every night that
week. On Friday, Bill asked me if I
would be interested in attending a meeting called Al-Anon which was for family
members of alcoholics. I had never heard
of it, but said “Of course, I want to be involved in anything that you are
involved in.” So we began to attend the AA and Al-Anon meetings at the Alano
Club in Manhattan Beach, a memory that warms my heart as it is the place where
we began to really know God.
I well remember walking
through that door and meeting the greeter, Gene, and anxious to tell him about
my frustrations of my husband never showing up for dinner, obviously due to his
drinking. He smiled, welcomed me, and
said to just come in and listen. I soon
learned that this meeting was NOT to discuss the alcoholics, but rather to
apply the 12 steps to each of us individually.
I soon learned and admitted I was powerless over alcohol and that my
life had become unmanageable. And I came
to believe that a Power greater than myself could restore me to sanity. And I made a decision to turn my will and my
life over to the care of God as I understood Him.
As I began to listen to
others share their stories, I began to count my blessings. There are always others who suffer greater
frustrations and heartaches. I was
thankful I could have a sponsor to help encourage me in times of uncertainty. Bill and I were enjoying the new friendships
we were making and socializing with people who really did relate to our
circumstances. Scott was living with us
and he began to attend Alateen meetings for children of alcoholics.
In the summer of 1974,
the Turners told us they would be moving back to Utah, because Bob was being
transferred back to Hill Air Force Base.
The last time we were in their home in Redlands, they had several boxes
of belongings packed up. As we were
walking to the door, I looked down at a box of books and noticed a Book of
Mormon on the very top. I asked what
that book was. Bill replied it was a
record of a highly civilized ancient American people. Jeannine added that it also recorded the
visits of Jesus Christ on the American continent. I mentioned I had never heard of that. We then bid our goodbyes and left. When they
visited our home for the last time before departing to Utah, they told us they
did not want to break tradition so invited us to come to Utah for Thanksgiving.
We accepted.
A few short months
later, we began our drive to Utah for Thanksgiving with Scott, 15 years old,
Reid, 4 years old, and Ryan, 1-1/2 years old. While on the way, I told Bill
that on my bus trip to California 9 years ago, someone mentioned a beautiful
temple in downtown Salt Lake City. I
asked Bill if we could go see it and he said, “Sure, I know right where it
is.” We continued on to the Turners’
home for Thanksgiving and a few days to visit. On the day before we left, Bill
asked me if I still wanted to go see that Temple and I replied, “Certainly, if
it’s not too much trouble.”
So Jeannine, Bill and I
drove to Salt Lake City and toured the temple grounds. Bill was telling me some extraordinary things about the temple (like conduit
in the walls which made it so easy to convert to electricity—a pioneer marvel in
Bill’s mind—he being an electronics engineer). While enjoying the grounds, they announced a
tour starting. Bill asked if I would like to take the tour, and I said “Sure, we’re here,
why not?” We began the tour by viewing a film entitled, “Man’s Search for
Happiness.” It told of a pre-existence, which I had never before heard of. Then it spoke of the
purpose of our time here on earth, and then what we can look forward to in the next
life. I marveled at how much they seemed to know about the next life, since I
had only known of a paradise and no other details on it.
Next we toured the
murals on the wall of the life of Christ. This was very familiar to me since I had always been a church-goer. It was comforting
to me to have this familiarity. Then we learned of the apostasy and the Reformation.
(I was very familiar with this as when I was 11 years old, I was excused each week
from elementary school to walk to the church of our faith for a one-hour religion
class. As a 6th grader, we studied the Protestant Reformation which was taught by Rev. Williams, a
Methodist minister.)
Next on the tour, we
were taught about the golden plates, the Angel Moroni, and Joseph Smith. This
was completely new to me—I had never heard of any of it. I just listened. Finally, they spoke of temples. I didn’t really understand too much of
the purpose of temples, as this also was new to me, so I politely listened. After
the tour, we signed the register, then Jeannine gave us 4 pamphlets to read on
our way home, and asked us to read them in order, which we did: The Testimony
of the Prophet Joseph Smith, Which Church Is True, The Plan of Salvation, and
What of the Mormons.
The next day, we
departed for home. I read the first pamphlet , the 'Testimony of the Prophet
Joseph Smith', and believed it because I felt God could appear to whomever He
wanted, and why would a 14 year old boy lie about something that would cause so
much persecution to him and so many others throughout his life, and eventually
lead to his death? I read the next pamphlet, 'Which Church is True?', and also
reasoned that this could be the true church based on the fact that God and His
Son, Jesus Christ appeared to a person who sincerely prayed, specifically
asking which church was true. (Didn’t I once vocally pray on behalf of my husband? That prayer was certainly answered!) I then
read through 'The Plan of Salvation' and thought it all made perfect sense. And
I loved learning about the organization of the Church in 'What of the Mormons'.
Back home in California,
I normally would attend a Tuesday morning women’s meeting, but because Ryan was slightly ill, I did not go. I did take
him outside for some fresh air and sunshine and met my neighbor, Karen Dastrup, another
young mother. When I explained why I was missing my church meeting, she asked
what church I attended. I answered, “The Riviera United Methodist Church. Do
you belong to a church?” She said, “Yes, I belong to The Church of Jesus Christ
of Latter-day Saints”. I perked right up and said, “Oh, we just got back from
Temple Square in Salt Lake City and want to learn more about that faith!” With
children to tend, we then ended our visit.
In January 1975, on a
weekday night, 2 missionaries knocked on our door. I was home alone except Reid and Ryan were in the bathtub upstairs.
They said that they were following up from our visit to Temple Square. I told them I
could not invite them in at this time. They left and I tended to the boys. The next
week, they came again and I was alone with the boys in the bathtub so I turned them
away. They asked if they should come back another night and I said, “Yes, if you come on
a Monday night, my family will be here.” (Bill and Scott attended AA and Alateen
meetings on weekday nights—Bill and I attended AA and Al-Anon meetings on Friday nights.) I
mentioned the Monday night appointment to Bill and he was fine with it.
The missionaries came,
we invited them in, and Bill and I met with them. At this point, Scott did not express interest.
We all introduced ourselves and Bill said right out, “We are hot
prospects!” I was shocked at that comment and then inwardly worried that we
would be misleading these young men. I was only interested in asking questions
and learning more about the Turners’ faith in the comforts of our own home.
Anyway, they taught us the discussion on the First Vision and we loved it.
After only one or maybe
two discussions, our family came down with the flu so I called the church and
postponed that evening’s discussion. The next morning, about 8:30, I answered a
knock on the door and it was Sister Barbaralee Cottle, who said she was serving
as the Relief Society President and heard that we were all sick. So she brought
us over some hot home baked cinnamon rolls and hoped we would all feel better.
I just couldn’t believe such an act of kindness and thanked her from the bottom
of my heart. I then went in and called my best friend, Sandy Podoll, and told
her of it. She said, “Oh, yes, Mormons take care of their own.” (She was
Lutheran.) I said, “But we’re not even Mormons!” Anyway, that gesture will
ALWAYS stand out in my mind!
Also about this time, we
had a HUGE surprise come our way when I went for my annual checkup and to get
my prescription for birth control pills renewed. (We had not planned for any more children
after Ryan since we now had a total of 5 children.) The doctor congratulated me and told me I was
pregnant! I was not even sure how I
would relay this to Bill, but when I did, he said, "Oh, but think of
it! We might have a GIRL!" I couldn't believe how excited he was! We decided this baby must have been conceived
around our trip to UT.
We continued with the
discussions and always looked forward to them. We also continued our activity
in the Methodist Church. I believe sometime in March 1975, the Methodist Church offered a Sunday School class to learn more about the
church. I told the missionaries about this and expressed interest in attending
so they encouraged us.
We were given a book to
read which gave the history of the Methodist faith. I remember learning many
similarities to what the elders were teaching us. For instance, in the early
Methodist Church, they practiced the law of tithing, but in the modern church,
this is no longer required. The same with fasting, keeping the Sabbath Day
holy, etc. I began to realize that the reformers, who studied the scriptures,
established the church to practice these things, but it all changed over time
to be more appealing to mankind. And the missionaries were teaching us that in
the LDS Church, the doctrine NEVER changes. So, now I began questioning my
Methodist faith.
I recall at the
beginning of one of our discussions, the elders called on me to give the
opening prayer, something I had NEVER done! So I started, “Dear Holy Spirit,…”.
When finished, Elder Brinkerhoff asked why I began with Dear Holy Spirit. I
said that it didn’t matter—they are all a God. We then had a lesson on the
proper way to give a prayer—to begin by addressing, “Dear Heavenly Father,” and
to close “in the name of Jesus Christ.” It all made perfect sense to me!
I might add that our
2-year old son, Ryan, was a very active little boy, yet whenever the Elders
were in our home, he would quietly sit on Elder Randy Gerth's lap just as calm
as could be. I was always so amazed at
that!
In another discussion on
a modern day living prophet, I began to struggle with this idea. I could only envision a prophet as one in
ancient times. That night, Bill and I
discussed it. Bill explained to me that
he and I have been raised in the world and have lived with worldly type
sins--drinking, smoking, lying, cheating, whatever. But he said that young men who are raised in
the church and are faithful never partake of those things. He said in that respect, they are a
"clean vessel" whom he felt would be the perfect ones that God would
communicate with in our day. As I began
to contemplate all of this, it did begin to make sense and I came to accept
it. (Spencer W. Kimball was the prophet
at this time.)
On a morning in April
1975, I answered a phone call from the principal of Redondo High School. He had
Scott in the office for some disciplinary measure. Since Bill had not yet gone
to work that morning, I referred the call to him. He told the principal that he
would be happy to come down to the school. As Bill was walking out the door, he
commented that “if Scott is going to play, he is going to have to pay.” About an hour or so later, they both
returned, and Scott had a short, parted missionary style haircut!! A complete
change from the long shoulder length hair he had been wearing. That night,
Brother Mike Gray, a stake missionary and also Scott’s math teacher in high
school, came over to teach the discussion. He was SO EXCITED over Scott’s
haircut and said he was giving him an “A” for the day!
Interestingly, the
Mormon boys were taking notice of Scott now, also, and began to invite him to
their activities and to early morning “cemetery”, which we later learned was
“seminary”. And now Scott became interested in listening to the missionary discussions
with us. At one discussion, Scott asked
Elder Brinkerhoff, “How do you know if there is really a God, since you can’t
see Him?” Elder Brinkerhoff then asked Scott, “Do you believe in China?” to
which Scott said “Yes, of course.” Elder B: “Have you ever seen it?” Scott:
“No.” Elder B: “Then why do you believe in it?” Scott: “Because we hear about
it on the news—and people have been there.” Elder B: “Prophets have recorded their
visions of seeing God and the Savior which is recorded in the scriptures.
Perhaps we haven’t actually seen them, but others certainly have.” After his
explanation, Scott did accept that there is a living God.
Sometime in the month of
May 1975, I went to an activity night to pick up Scott to give him a ride home.
He asked if we could drop off his friend, Mark Forbes, which we did. Afterwards, on the way home, Scott shared his
feelings that he has never attended a church like this one and is getting
interested in joining it. I agreed with
him and indicated we were definitely considering it, also. The Elders began to
challenge us to baptism since they had taught us most of the discussions. Bill told them he would not join as long as
he was still smoking. They offered to
fast and pray for him and give him a blessing which they did. He then had to leave on a business trip and
would call me every night to let me know he was NOT succumbing to smoking, but
so amazed that he was able to do it!
This experience was really strengthening his faith! He was so humbled that two young men were so
willing to sacrifice for him!
We accepted the Elders'
invitation to visit Sunday School about the third Sunday in May. I remember LOVING the opening exercises as
well as our class. The lesson was on
temples and so uplifting. I vaguely
remember a sister who was a recent convert making some comment that really hit
home with me. I then began to feel a
little more comfortable in the possibility of joining the Church. (At this point, I was still struggling with
the idea of being labeled a "Mormon" the rest of my life!)
Brother Mike Gray
invited our family to attend the baptism of his 8-year old daughter, Lisa,
which we did. I remember the speaker who
spoke on baptism defined the word, "baptisode", meaning to dip. His talk really impressed me. I recall seeing a pediatric dentist there,
Dr. French, which REALLY impressed me, since I really didn't know any other
Mormons. After the baptism, Sister
Barbaralee Cottle came up to me and asked how we were doing? I told her we just weren't sure yet even
though we like everything we were being taught.
She said she would loan me a book that might help. She did bring it to my home--entitled "No More Strangers". The day after the baptism was Fast
Sunday and we visited the Fast and Testimony meeting. I recall that my neighbor, Sister Karen
Dastrup, bore her testimony and also Mark Forbes. What a blessing it was for us to hear
testimonies from people we knew! Being
in Sacrament Meeting for me felt like I had come HOME, yet I had never been
there before. To this day, I LOVE Sacrament Meeting! Scott made his decision to
join this church.
The next night, on a
Monday, I attended my usual prayer meeting at the Methodist Church. I shared with them that my son, Scott, wanted
to join the Mormon Church. The women in
the meeting reacted with comments like, "They don't believe in the
Trinity", and "they can't go shopping on Sundays", to which I
found myself defending what the Elders had taught us. I believe it was the very next meeting with
the Elders in our home that Scott committed to baptism. They asked him if he would like to wait for
his parents and he said "No, I am ready now and I'm not sure when they
will be ready to join." So, he committed for the following Saturday, June
7, 1975.
Also that week, our
neighbor down the street, Joanne Evans, came by to loan us her book entitled,
"The Kingdom of the Cults" by Dr. Walter Martin and a cassette
tape. She was trying to explain to me
that although it all seems to be true, we are really being
deceived. As she was sharing this with
me, the phone rang. It was the South Bay
Hospital saying they had Scott there with a broken arm. Whoa! I had to hurry
out the door (fortunately) and I remember thanking her for her interest, but
that I know who I pray to and had the faith that He would answer my fervent
prayers.
Scott had to get into a
soft cast for his baptism. When he came
home and everything settled down, I told him of that book and cassette
tape. He started to listen to it with me (It gave us such cold, depressing feelings), and then said he
was not going to listen anymore because he KNOWS the Church is true. He and Dad both assured me that these
ministers get rich off of people's emotions and they, in fact, were the ones
deceiving.
Scott, indeed, was
baptized at the Torrance Stake Center and confirmed a member of The Church of
Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints into the Redondo First Ward, under the
leadership of Bishop Merlin Farish. The
next day Dad and I returned to our Methodist Church and I recall feeling like
there was a black cloud over the entire congregation--as if I was among a lost
people. I now knew so much more about
God's Plan than anyone here knew.
Interestingly, it was the 25th Anniversary of Rev. Fehlman's ministry so
they re-enacted his ordination. Two
other ministers placed their hands on his head for the ordaining. I shared that with my neighbor, Karen
Dastrup, and she said "What of it?
Where do they get their authority?" and then proceeded to explain
the priesthood line of authority that goes back to Jesus Christ.
I now started to read the
book, "No More Strangers". In
the preface, there were two different paragraphs that seemed to lift right off
the page for me:
"The key to gaining a testimony or knowledge is sacrifice, or paying the
price. Conversion costs something. (For one thing, it costs us our sins, and
they are often dear to us.) Everything
in this life has a price." And, in
the Sixth Lecture on Faith, the Prophet Joseph Smith teaches the principle in
such plain terms that it cannot be misunderstood: "For a man to lay down his all, his
character and reputation, his honor, and applause, his good name among men, his
houses, his lands, his brothers and sisters, his wife and children, and even
his own life also--counting all things but filth and dross for the excellency
of the knowledge of Jesus Christ--requires more than mere belief or supposition
that he is doing the will of God; but actual knowledge, realizing that
when these sufferings are ended, he will enter into eternal rest, and be a partaker
of the glory of God... Let us here observe, that a religion that does not
require the sacrifice of all things never has power sufficient to produce the
faith necessary unto life and salvation; for, from the first existence of man,
the faith necessary unto the enjoyment of life and salvation never could be
obtained without the sacrifice of all earthly things. It was through this sacrifice, and this only,
that God has ordained that men should enjoy eternal life; and it is through the
medium of the sacrifice of all earthly things that men do actually know that
they are doing the things that are well pleasing in the sight of God." The
preface continues but I well remember that I could not stop thinking about
this. I asked myself, "What am I sacrificing in my life for the Lord?"
I could think of nothing!
The first chapter in
this book was the conversion story of a Methodist chaplain in the army. Did that ever get my attention! Each chapter
contained a different conversion experience from people around the world and
from different faiths. This was EXACTLY what I needed to read to lift my fear
of being "labeled" or being "different". If others had the courage to go forward with
their testimonies, then I could to. I couldn't put that book down and once I
finished it, I decided to pray and ask whether this Church was true and whether
we should join. At that point, the Elders could teach us no more and were
waiting on us.
So I knelt down at my
bedside one night and did ask if it was right that we join this Church--that I only
wanted to know God's will for us. I felt
that it was right, but needed to know for sure. That night I had a dream. The
Savior was standing in an open balcony in front of a crowd of modern day
people. He was standing there suffering with a brutal crown of thorns on His
head with blood running down His face. I
could hardly comprehend that suffering and Him facing such a multitude of
people looking at Him. So I turned to a lady next to me and asked her,
"Isn't that the Savior and Redeemer of the world, Jesus Christ?" She said, "Yes." I then asked her why he was suffering like
that again since He had already been through that before." She replied, "Because the world has
become so evil He has to go through it again." I then turned to my husband, Bill, who was
standing next to me on the right and said, "I don't want Him to have to go
through that on our account--I think we need to change." Bill agreed. That was the end of my dream.
The next morning I told
Bill about the dream and felt that was my answer. When the Elders came that night, we told them
we wanted to get baptized. They
scheduled us for the following Saturday, June 21, 1975--the day before our 7th
Wedding Anniversary!! I remember
thinking that we could still back out--I felt such a commitment, like I was
getting married or something. I knew
this would be life changing and wondered if we were really ready. I did know my prayer was answered so we went
forward in faith and did get baptized!
I remember feeling like
I had just found the missing piece to a puzzle I had worked on my entire
life! I also felt like I was given a new
pair of glasses and could now see everything clearly, rather than blurred. It truly felt like a new beginning to
life! I had just turned 30 years old the
week before and marveled at what a perfect way to enjoy being 30!! And Reid commented, "They are the NICEST people!" (He had just
turned 5 years old.) After our baptism, we had planned to gradually begin
paying a full tithing since we had never budgeted a full tithing at that
point. But with our very first check, we
both agreed that this is about faith, and we decided to pay in faith and that
the Lord would help us. And He did.
We read "A
Marvelous Work and A Wonder" by Elder LeGrand Richards which opened our
eyes to so many gospel principles we had not yet learned. I also read "The Restored Church"
and learned of the plight and persecution of the pioneers when the early church
was being established on the earth. It
also told of the pioneers crossing the plains and of all their hardships in
coming to Utah to be able to worship as they pleased.
I remember the morning
of September 6, 1975 when I was beginning to feel labor pains. We went to the LDS book store, stopped at the
counter while having a pain which made the clerk very nervous. We then went to the hospital to get checked
and was told we still had some time. So
we went home and returned in the evening.
We had taken the Lamaze natural childbirth classes so were excited to
work through this labor as a team! When
the pains were really hard, I remember reminding myself that I was in a comfy
hospital--and NOT on the cold wet ground of the plains with sisters holding a
sheet over me to protect me from the rain as was the case with many of the
pioneer women. (I had read about that in
The Restored Church.) When it was
finally time for delivery, we were SO EXCITED to indeed have a little girl,
just as her daddy predicted. We named
her after one of our favorite songs, "Sweet Caroline" by Neil Diamond
and her Aunt Betty (nickname for Elizabeth)--Caroline Elizabeth!
When Caroline was about
6 weeks old, we were asked by the Stake President to give our conversion story
to the Mission Conference on an upcoming Sunday at 6:30 a.m. Truthfully, I could NEVER EVER get up in
front of any audience to speak, never in my life! But I recall thinking,
"I KNOW that Jesus Christ is the Head of this Church and speaks through
His servants." I really did know
that in my heart which is why I got baptized, so in faith, we said yes. I took Caroline and held her in my arms while
I spoke of our experience and was just amazed that I was able to do it. This greatly strengthened my testimony as I was
well aware of my weaknesses.
Another time, a brother
in the ward told me they would love to hear my testimony in a fast and
testimony meeting. I told him that I
knew I would just FAINT if I were to go up and stand at that podium in front of
a congregation. (I just did not have
experiences like that prior in my life and had such a fear of that very
thought!) His reply was, "So what
if you do, Sister Garrett, we will pick you up!" For some reason, I felt
the sincerity in his voice, recalled that our brethren held the priesthood of
God, and indeed felt that I was in good hands.
I don't remember what I said, but with a very dry mouth I managed to
bear my first testimony and was so proud that I did NOT faint! Truly, the
testimony I bore was again strengthened! In a Relief Society meeting, I was
asked to share my feelings about my conversion and sure enough, I got through
it. I was truly taking baby steps
because I was a far cry from having the confidence I desired--it was only my
faith that carried me through these experiences.
My first calling, which
was extended after Caroline was born, was in Primary to teach
the Targateer Class of 6 boys.
The lesson manual and course that I taught was on the lives of the
Presidents of the Church. Little did I
know how valuable that course would be to ME, as well as the boys. Primary was held during the week and those
boys, with their DIRTY hands always wanted to hold my beautiful baby
daughter--and I did let them. Being an
embryo in the gospel myself, I LOVED learning the songs in Primary.
During this time, Bill's
oldest son, Mike, was having marital difficulties in Texas and asked to come
and live with us, which he did. As new
converts, we no longer permitted smoking, coffee, and the like in our home
which Mike agreed to. At first it was
hard, but after a few weeks, Mike said to me, "Barb, since I have been
here I have given up alcohol, cigarettes, nail-biting, and coffee--and I've
even learned to love postum!" (A
non-caffeine cereal hot drink.) He, too,
began taking the missionary lessons and got baptized in January 1976. He walked like on a cloud and had such a
handsome countenance about him.
A temple preparation
class was starting and being taught by Brother Frank Haight. Bill and I were invited to attend so we could
begin preparing for the temple. The
class was on the Book of Mormon. Two
other couples were baptized during the summer of 1975 also and were attending
this class along with some other couples and individuals. I recall sitting up in bed one evening and
started reading the Book of Mormon for the very first time. It was as if ancient America was coming to
life for me. I could hardly put that
book down once I started reading it.
Bill had to go to Las
Vegas on a business trip so wanted to take me and the young children with him,
so we drove over. Whenever my hands were
free, I was reading the Book of Mormon.
While we stayed in the MGM Grand Hotel, the boys listened to some
records and read books while I continued to read the Book of Mormon. By the time we got back home, I had finished
the book and KNEW it was true. I have
never doubted it. And I still read it
nearly every day and treasure the strength and happiness I receive from it.
Finally, at the end of
1976 we were prepared to go to the Los Angeles Temple to receive our endowments
and be sealed as an eternal family. We
knew so little about the temple at that time--only that it was The House of the
Lord upon the earth. We were scheduled
on a Friday afternoon on December 3, 1976.
I hurried to get the boys and our little young toddler daughter prepared,
as well as myself. We traveled through
freeway traffic and arrived and took the children to the nursery while we
received our instructions and our endowments.
While in the sealing
room, they brought the children in all dressed in white, however, they forgot
to bring Caroline's pacifier and when she saw all those people in the room she
started crying so we were sealed together by the temple president, President
Richard Stratford, over the altar with her crying. I vaguely remember his talk
on Abraham, but we certainly felt the special Spirit of being in the House of
the Lord. Sadly, we never got a picture
as I recall it was all we could do to just get there. Now, 38 years later as I
recall these events of our conversion story, I absolutely shudder to think of
where I might be in my life if I had not let these young Elders, Brent
Brinkerhoff and Randy Gerth, in to teach us.
We were struggling to be happy.
We did love each other and loved our family, but we always got tied up
in problems and every path we took to try and be happy seemed to end up in dead
ends--never really having a true meaning to our endeavors.
Alcoholics Anonymous and
Al-Anon was a great strength to us and was the beginning of our putting our
trust in God, together. The Elders and
stake missionaries even gave us the "big book" entitled Mormon
Doctrine by Bruce R. McConkie at our baptism to go along with our AA big
book. I firmly believe the 12-step
program, originating with AA, is an inspired program to help people to come
unto Christ. When Bill Wilson, the
originator of AA, saw the LIGHT from his hospital bed and felt that Presence,
he KNEW there was a God who loved him.
And we have always been thankful for how the AA and Al-Anon meetings and
12 steps indeed prepared us with the faith to accept the gospel and come unto
Christ who indeed, IS, the head of the Church and speaks His will through a
living prophet on the earth today.
I now finish with my testimony,
with emotion and tears flowing down my cheeks, that I KNOW that The Church of
Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is our Savior's true church upon the earth
today. I do KNOW that we are lead and
guided by a living prophet on the earth and today he is Thomas S. Monson. I absolutely KNOW that Joseph Smith is the
prophet who was called to restore the truths back to the earth and he is my
hero for all that he went through in his young life to preserve these truths to
fulfill God's Plan of Happiness--for you and for me! Like our Savior, he was only in his thirties
when he was martyred. I honor him and
love him. I also do KNOW that the Book
of Mormon is true and is the most correct book upon this earth. All that I read and learn from it applies to
our day as it did anciently. I am always
reminded that the Lord simply asks us to have a humble heart and a contrite
spirit--and never to become hard hearted, for then we become unteachable and
will stray far from the truths of His gospel.
And finally, I testify to you that GOD LOVES US. So much so, that knowing we are living in a
dark and dreary world known as mortality and are here to learn and to prepare
to return to His Presence, and knowing we will never be perfect in this earth
life, He sent us His Son, our personal Savior, Jesus Christ, to bear our burdens
and make them light, and to guide us along by giving us commandments to live by
that will protect us from harm and evil and misery. Our Savior loves us so much that he willingly
sacrificed and atoned and bled from every pore, and gave up his own life
willingly, so that we can be redeemed from our sins and be free and HAPPY in
this life. There is nothing that He does
not understand, and wants to help us get through it. He beckons us to "come unto Me" and
to "be of good cheer". He has
given us the gift of the Holy Ghost, our guide and our comforter.
And may I say that I
LOVE the temple and KNOW that it is The House of the Lord! When I walk in to do the sacred work of the
Lord, and feel of that sweet spirit of His love for me, I KNOW He will always
be with me and help me with anything in my life as I exit the doors of His
House. And I testify that He has NEVER
let me down. I LOVE HIM! He knows my heart, He hears my prayers and I
have learned to trust Him completely.
Yes, it has taken many challenges and experiences along the way to learn how true this
gospel is, but indeed I have learned that it IS the true plan of happiness for
mankind and I love it!
I am so thankful that I
was blessed to be with my husband, Bill, when he left this earth--I prayed for
that every night and my Heavenly Father did honor the desires of my heart and I
humbly thank Him for that wonderful blessing.
I am thankful for Bill's love for me and for all the patience he
extended to me during our conversion, and that we were willing to work through
all of our difficulties. I am thankful
to know that with each passing day we are closer to being reunited again, along
with all of our other loved ones beyond the veil. I am thankful beyond words for my wonderful,
loving, righteous FAMILY who have always loved and honored their
parents--through all of our stages of learning how to endure mortality and this
earth life. I am so happy, honored, and
proud to be part of such a loving family and love watching you all continuing
to rear a loving family who puts God and His Son first in your lives. I am so happy to be a part of this eternal
family and love all the things that you, our children and grandchildren and
great-grandchildren, have taught us and continue to teach us. I am thankful that there are no longer
dead-ends in our lives but instead, can enjoy being on a path that leads to
forever. I will continue to look forward
with faith to that day when we will all sit down together at our heavenly
table, with no empty chairs. I leave
these truths with you, as I have come to know them, in the sacred name of our
Lord and our Savior, Jesus Christ.
Amen!
